10/13/2023-Empathy

Published on

Skill

Empathy is a powerful force in the sales game, and in life. Don’t worry about balancing your customer’s interests against the pressure on you to deliver…empathy for the buyer always wins.

The name of a heartfelt poem by Mary Lathrap was originally titled “Judge Softly” (1895) and later came to be known by its most famous and quoted line: “Walk a Mile in His Moccasins.”

Moccasins. Boots. Flip-flops. Shoes. …the type of footwear doesn’t much matter, eh?

In the high-stakes sales game, sellers constantly need to run fast, yet pausing to imagine wearing your customer’s shoes requires slowing down.

Empathy doesn’t live in the fast lane.

Sellers who can feel and think like their buyers will surely succeed, but the trick is ignoring the internal pressures of your job long enough to develop authentic care for your customers.

Do

Today, before you start your Zoom / F2F pitch meetings, imagine the shoes your buyers are wearing and think about how they’d look on you.

Follow up your standard, "How ya doin’?" with questions showing genuine care.

They say, "…things are crazy busy around here." Maybe you follow up with, "I feel ya…how are you personally coping with all that stress?" (And then LISTEN.)

They say, "…my manager is driving me crazy." Perhaps you respond, "Yep, I know the feeling…so how are you dealing with it?" (And then….LISTEN.)

Gently probing to learn about your customer’s feelings and thoughts is not being nosy, it’s being empathetic.

The sales gospel promotes many prescriptive behavior and activity recommendations with the following stacked in the front of the book:
1. Be maniacal in pursuing your revenue goal.
2. Be a prospecting maniac and get meetings, meetings, meetings.
3. Deal with objections and get deals signed.
4. Qualify your customers to discover nuances and insights that can help you create smart solutions.

For some odd reason, you have to flip to the back of the fictional Universal Handbook of Selling Best Practices and Smart Behaviors of the Galaxy to read about empathy and its place in the selling game.

And yet, each and every day, it’s proven that those sellers who exhibit genuine care for their customers enjoy a long, fulfilling career.

The sales game is good at sending mixed signals: on one hand, you’re playing a selfish, individual game of GO FRIGGIN’ GRAB IT! At the same time, you’re reminded that the money you covet is owned by people who only care about themselves.

Are these forces at odds?

Not at all. It just requires mental dexterity and a whole lot of calculating moves on your part.

Start simply by acknowledging the buyer on the other side of the desk is a human being who has tons in common with you. To respect that person to the highest degrees, focus on these two behaviors:

1. Listen like it’s the first time your ears were turned on.
2. Slow down and put the hammer down on the table…not everything is a nail.

Oomph

Don’t feel sheepish if you’re a bit flummoxed over the difference between empathy and sympathy.

What you learn in this efficient 3-minute animated video from researcher and storyteller Brené Brown will help you appreciate empathy so you can "bring some" to your customers.

As you’ll be reminded in this snippet, empathy doesn’t mean you must fall all over your customers at every whim. At the same time, your concern and care for them must be real.

Quote of the day

"Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes." Mary T. Lathrap